My life, that is. But who knows, may be it would be too boring without all the chaos
I am a morning person *I think*, although I don’t always appreciate being abruptly waken up at 6:00 in the morning by a loud voice demanding to be taken out of his (or their) crib. I have no choice, every morning I spring out of bed and head to the twins’ room feeling a bit like a zombie. I trip on a toy or step on a piece of lego on my way to the twins’ room. At this point I’m not quite sure if I’m still asleep and having a bad dream, or if I’m truly awake; but the two screaming children in the cribs make sure that I know it is now daytime and time to get up. Yes, I’m pretty sure I am a morning person, but sometimes I wish I could slowly wake up as I hit the snooze button 10 times instead.
So I bring both kids into my room, turn on the T.V. and hope that I can stay in bed just a little longer. My oldest hears the T.V. and comes flying into the room. Then I get the kids some milk and crawl back into bed. Not even 5 minutes later, the fighting begins. One twin wants the remote, and so does the other one. I get another remote to try and make them both happy, but apparently it is not good enough so twin one smacks me on the head with it. I get really mad and say “no hitting!” He then loses his mind because I just yelled at him. He shrieks as loud as he can and demands for me to hold him. So I do, but I must stand up, there is no way I can hold him while sitting or he’ll start arching his back and kicking. So I stand up and hold him, I try to distract him with something else. Meanwhile, the other twin has had enough of watching T.V, and goes somewhere else to “explore”. A few minutes later I hear a loud noise and a cry follows the noise. The toy wasn’t doing what twin two wanted it to do so he threw it and started screaming; he now wants to be held too. Twin one is starting to calm down, but his brother’s loud screaming upsets him, so he starts screaming again. Really??? Two.screaming.toddlers. Over a remote and an uncooperative toy. I can barely pick one up now they are so heavy, holding them both at the same time is nearly impossible. This is how I start my mornings.
I love my breakfast, and I love it warm. I wake up starving in the morning, but I can’t get anything to eat just yet (unless it’s a granola bar or something quick), the kids come first. I head downstairs to get breakfast started, and try to start my own as well. By now, it is about 7:30 Two-year-olds aren’t known for their patience, and mine fit that profile quite well. So, forget about me and my breakfast, get these kids fed first. I can hear them coming downstairs and I start to panic. When they want something they want it NOW, and if they don’t get it I pay for it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t give my kids whatever they want or let them do as they please. I am quite strict and work hard at teaching them “the rules”. But in my experience, when it comes to reasoning with a two-year-old, chances of succeeding are slim. So I’d rather avoid conflict sometimes, especially when my time is limited. I could have started breakfast earlier, but I had to deal with the mayhem that just went on. Maybe it was all my fault for wanting to stay in bed a little longer?
If breakfast isn’t ready when the demanding toddlers want it, then I may as well just forget about making anything, the quickest/closest edible item I see will do. If breakfast isn’t ready by the time they come asking for it, there is no way I will even get to finish making it because I will have no hands to do so. I will be using my two hands to pull my pants up as the 2 screaming little people keep pulling them down. I will be using my hands to try and calm them down so that I can finish making breakfast. I finally decide to sit them in their chairs and hypnotize them with a little T.V just so that I can finish getting breakfast ready, THEIR breakfast. I still have to hurry and get my oldest ready for school.
Everybody is somewhat happy for now, I think I can make myself a coffee at least since I won’t be having breakfast just yet. I try my best to make the kids a healthy breakfast. Getting veggies into them can be tricky, so I sneak them in food whenever I can. A lot of the time I will make them scrambled eggs with mushrooms and spinach. So I spend the time chopping up the veggies and making sure their eggs are they way they like them: not too dry; they eat them best when they are a bit moist. In order for me to do this, I have to make sure the kids are happy and entertained, otherwise, frustration is guaranteed to hit soon and I will end up burning the eggs as I will have to go stop twin one from biting twin two and twin two from violently garbing and pulling his brother’s hair. By the time I get back to cooking everything is burnt. If this happens, I either have to make the eggs again (but no chopped vegetables this time) or, I will just feed them cereal or toast. So everything has to be carefully planned.
But, I am running late, there is no time for breakfast, I barely got to finish drinking my coffee, and all my time spent cooking scrambled eggs with spinach and mushrooms ends up on the floor. The dog gets my healthy breakfast and I am ready to lose my mind. Why do I even bother? I could have used that time on something else, like making myself a good breakfast! It’s 8:48 and it takes me a good 20 minutes to get everybody dressed and bundled up. Trying to get the kids dressed as they are kicking and throwing themselves on the floor isn’t easy. This is when I get my workout and start sweating. I have to chase 2 toddlers around the house and wrestle them to get dressed, 15 minutes later, when I’m ready to put everybody in the car to take big brother to school, I smell poop. It never fails. So I get to undress poopy twin to change his bum and get him dressed all over again.
I am also left with a huge post-breakfast mess… The clean freak in me wants to clean it all up before the scrambled eggs get stepped on and rubbed all over the floor. I just want my house to look normal, for me, to feel a little bit sane. But I have no time to do it, so I get to deal with it when I get back from dropping off my oldest.
My cholesterol levels are a bit high, so my doctor gave me a little list of food ingredients I should avoid, I have this little note stuck to one of my cupboards to remind me. I look at it before leaving and grab a slice of bread, that is the best I can do at this point.
I am already craving just a little bit of time to myself, but probably won’t get it for a while as I get to come home to clean up after breakfast which will probably take a good hour as I will have to act as a referee every 5 minutes, as that is probably how often my 2 little toddlers get into fights. Anything I do throughout the day has to be in 5-minute-chuncks as that is approximately how much time I get in between fights and other moments that require mommy. IF I happen to get more than 5 minutes at a time, I’d better worry, because that normally means the boys have found something very entertaining to do, which includes (but is not limited to): Stuffing the toilets full of garbage, getting into the crayon or marker container and clouring all over the walls and furniture, getting into my lotions/creams and rubbing the contents on themselves and the wall, etc.
Wow, what a morning! It is now 11:00 and time to do it ALL OVER AGAIN for lunch time! Does it sound a bit like Groundhog day?
I can honestly say that I feel burnt out. I love my kids to bits and I am grateful beyond words for the life that I have, but all this stuff gets to me sometimes, although being a mom is totally rewarding. I am very lucky to have a wonderful husband who helps me a ton as soon as he’s home from work, and I am lucky to have friends who will go out with me and listen to me whine about my groundhog days. I generally have a pretty positive outlook on life, but ever since I became a mommy for the second time I feel like I can’t deal with it all. I feel overwhelmed a.lot. I love my kids and I would do it all over again if I had to. It’s just that sometimes I feel isolated, like nobody truly understands what life with twins is like. What my life is like, right now.
It’s not easy to be positive when no matter what you do your house always looks like a bomb went off, when no matter how hard you try you can’t stop your kids from whining, crying throwing temper tantrums and screaming, when you feel like you can’t leave your house because the thought of dealing with 2 wild little people anywhere other than your house is just too stressful.
Even though it feels like I’m on my own, I’m sure there are other moms who feel the same way, whether they have 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 kids. Twins, triplets or singletons.